


You are Everything

by Swimmerstorm



Category: She-Ra and the Princesses of Power (2018)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Angst, Emotional Hurt, F/F, Hurt No Comfort, Insecurity, Lesbian Adora (She-Ra), Lesbian Catra (She-Ra), No Beta read we die like men, Post-Break Up
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-27
Updated: 2020-11-27
Packaged: 2021-03-10 03:46:41
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 983
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27747718
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Swimmerstorm/pseuds/Swimmerstorm
Summary: She was so naive to believe that Adora was her soulmate and she was hers. And it was funny to her, because she hadn't always necessarily believed in them, but she believed in Adora and that was enough. But it wasn't enough for Adora. She wasn't enough for Adora.
Relationships: Adora & Catra (She-Ra), Adora/Catra (She-Ra)
Comments: 5
Kudos: 40





	You are Everything

**Author's Note:**

  * For [](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts).



> This was inspired by the cover "And she will miss you" by Seven, specifically the lines "I could see you losing touch". This is my first published work so be gentle.

So naive to believe that because she loved Adora unconditionally, that Adora would've loved her the same. But love for Catra was always conditional, no matter who it was. 

So naive to believe that Adora was her soulmate and she was hers. And it was funny to her, because she hadn't always necessarily believed in them, but she believed in Adora and that was enough. But it wasn't enough for Adora. She wasn't enough for Adora. And she wasn't sure what she did wrong, but she always messed things up so why should this be different. It felt different because it was Adora, and Adora said she'd love her despite her mistakes. But Adora was wrong. Because she wasn't here now and she was so far gone, that even the skies couldn't comfort her. 

She was so naive to believe that she was worth loving. She had always been told she wasn't worth it, but Adora made her feel okay, but then Adora stopped loving her. And she assumed that it was natural for people to leave her, they'd always done so, her parents left her on the doorstep of an orphanage, and her friends moved on, but Adora was different. Or so she thought. That's where she was wrong. She was wrong because there was nothing of her that made people want to stay. 

She couldn't remember where it all went wrong.

Maybe it was like the butterfly effect, where their first meeting was where it all went wrong, where it would lead to heartbreak and loneliness. Maybe it went wrong because love was supposed to temporarily take the pain away but she had wanted their love to be infinite. Nothing but the pain was infinite for Catra. She didn't deserve love, and so she surely didn't deserve Adora. But she had wanted her, more than she had ever wanted anything. And yet Adora didn't want her as she wanted her. 

Or maybe it went wrong when Adora had gone to another college, one different from their plan. Where they grew distant and fought, but she should've fought for their love to last, and not over things that seem so small now. She should've been more supportive, and ignored the ache in her chest, the feelings of abandonment. She should've trusted Adora, that she wasn't going to leave. But then again, she did leave her. And it was all her fault, she never could blame her for leaving, because she had nothing to stay for. So Catra drowned in the pits of her hell, her eyes burning and her soul alive, pain in her smile. 

Or maybe, she just simply fell out of love. That she grew without her, become somebody who didn't need her. Not that she had needed her anyway. But she wanted Adora to need her, need her like she needed Adora. But she didn't. Adora always had other friends and others who loved her just as Catra did, but Catra had nobody. She was left to pick up her mess if she even knew how. And maybe she would leave the mess alone and hope it would go away because nothing lasted forever, so maybe the pain wouldn't. But she laughed at that thought because the pain always stayed. 

She was left alone in a dark dorm room where she once felt the glow of Adora's smile on her face. She felt so cold, but she always did without her. And maybe she was meant to feel cold. She ignored the part of her that wanted to feel anything but cold, but she didn't seem to have a say. Catra wondered if she could ever feel the warmth again, but she doubted it. The warmth was for those who deserved it, and she never did anything to deserve it. She was pulled along the stream and the pain, just for others to watch and use because maybe then she would be worth something to someone. But she was worth nothing to herself, so who would want something worth the price of a single hello and smile. Who would want someone who had no sense of worth, who wanted to be loved so badly that they would drown themselves just for the feeling that they could hope to be something to someone one day?

Loving Adora had been like the moon loves the sun. Knowing that she was only illuminated because of her, that she would be nothing on her own. That she was only ever pretty when Adora lights her up. And that the moon was so small compared to the sun, she was nothing more than a chapter in Adora's life but Adora was her whole plot, the reason behind her every move. And the sun will eventually set, and every book and chapter will come to an end. 

She had loved Adora like she knew nothing else. And she knew nothing else. She could write her psychology paper and pretend to know the depths of human emotions. And she thought, that where she was now was as low as could go, that she had reached the depths, something she thought she'd touched long ago. But when someone lifts you high, the drop seems so much harder, so much farther. 

And the pain she felt when she was Adora with 𝘩𝘦𝘳, her chest almost collapsed and she could feel her knees go weak at the sight of her with someone else. Someone with pink hair and a smile like no other. And she'd gone even farther down. The pain so horrid it left her sobs without sound. 

She was the only one hurting. And yet as much as she loves Adora, she wished she was hurting too, because maybe then she could know that Adora had once felt the same. That she had loved her too. But she didn't. 

Adora had left her; she was alone again.


End file.
